First, land on planet Earth, located in the Milky Way galaxy. Then, find the nearest Apple store. Purchase (or steal, depending on your currency situation… I know right, we can’t all be Bill Gates and Beyonce’s) an IPhone. Download Google Maps. DO NOT use Apple Maps, it will get you so lost and frustrated. Drive, walk, crawl, hover craft etc your way towards the great city of Los Angeles, CA. You will notice an area that is somewhat lesser in smog, go towards it. You will then arrive in Santa Monica. I am the little house with the bright red door under the fig tree. Be sure though that you check and decipher the parking signs first, cause oh boy they will nail you here. Once you have done that walk, roll, pogo stick, etc towards the front door. You will need to please knock first because I could be indecent! You then have arrived at my house. Go get some figs now and stay a while why don’t yah!
Write, in ridiculous detail, directions on how to get to your house.